Day 1

I made a decision today to reprogram my brain. I made a list of all things toxic in my life that do not serve me and my growth and began eliminating them. Social media was something that clearly had to go. Don't misunderstand me, social media can be a wonderful, powerful tool for communication. However, for my brain, it is a disservice. It triggers like addiction for me -- getting likes, messages, watching other people's lives and disassociating from my own. I am impulsive and I post things that I soon regret. I use it to create identities to the point where I lose my own. When I was a teenager, we did very well without social media. We found ways to communicate with those that we really wanted to. We got the information we needed when we wanted it -- it wasn't constantly fed to us. These dream lives and confusing realities were not constantly shoved in our faces. We didn't feel the need to spend money to be "like her". I cringe. That was who I had become... no one. A false and obscured illusion of many other people. I was a copy cat. 

I always tell people that I do not really have an addictive personality. I like things and enjoy them, but do not get hooked. I can easily walk away. WOW, I was wrong. I found that I am very addicted to social media. After deleting it, I checked it multiple times just like a fiend. I am addicted to affirmation. I am addicted to social interaction. I am addicted to love. 

Today is the day that I put my energy toward harnessing brainpower, if it does not serve me I will not spend money or time on it. I work hard for my money. My days are numbered. Why do I spend them so foolishly? I bought supplements and am making diet changes geared toward focus and reducing impulsive behavior. I invested in Headspace in order to enhance my meditation practice and better focus. I am getting more serious about the outdoors and exercising, especially running. I have to maintain a routine. I will surround myself with good people who truly support my growth, as well as animals. 

"What I really like about the disco ball is that it's a bunch of broken pieces put back together again so that when you're finally enlightened, it makes this mesmerizing light totally attractive, like bugs to the light... people love disco balls." - Miley Cyrus. 

We cannot avoid pain. We are broken people, but we can continue to pick up the pieces to create a wonderful and beautiful piece of art. We can become so enlightened that we are mesmerized.